So frustrated

So damn frustrated.
Fuck you for taking things wrong and ruining what could have been a fun break TWICE. Fuck that. I'm so angry, I just want to figure out WHAT THE FUCK is going to happen. I swear, I'm tryin to make the best out of it but come the FUCK on, I already had everything planned. Blood is fucking boilinggg.

And as tiny as this thing is, it pisses me off a whole lot. Tomorrow should be going down to see a friend but instead I'm just going straight to the show. Possibly alone. Again. To the same place that made going to shows by myself hell. The place where I stood outside crying because I didn't know where my stuff was, I had no gas and my phone was dying. Fabuloussssss. Why am I not going to see a friend you may ask? Well because this person insists that I go see his friend whos just not for me. Its not that I hate him, I just don't like his personality and I don't like the fact that my friend pretty much just wants me to hit on and " boost his ego " FUCK THAT. There were two girls that wanted him last time I was there so why the fuck do I have to do it? I went through that whole talking-to-his-friend thing at Kean but at least I cared about him, this kid.. Ugh. Its just annoying how he won't see me and it just be us, it HAS to be with noname. I just want to be with my friend, I'm tired of being stuck with people that I don't like, when its time for fun I should be able to choose who I hang with.

I'm really nervous about tomorrow, like legit nervous. It was a shady area, with creepy people and I just don't know what to do. All I'm positive about is that I'm still going.



Oh. and I HATE when you complain about others and how none of your friends want to hang out or no one ever picks up and all that yet I ALWAYS do. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, doesn't even matter what time, you sometimes call at like random times like 5am and I STILL pick up. I hold you close to my heart bud and I don't like feeling like you hold others there. Fucking CAN'T STAND THAT. I probably won't tell you for a while.


So if I'm usually only emotional when I'm on the rag, then why can't I stop crying?