you're lucky i'm going to vickys.
how DARE you scream at my mother
you ALWAYS do it around your side of the family, what? is it supposed to make you feel strong? well fuck you.
be grateful mom wont let me make you cry cause Lord knows i'm the only one with that power.
mom bends over backwards for us and THATS how you treat her?
and whats worse is she only wanted to go visit grandma and you called her stupid and kept yelling.
grandma didnt raise you like that. fuck you. I hate seeing mom cry.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
I was really hoping I forgot my password for a second.
You should like Owl City.
I feel like you secretly are now going to listen to it but won't tell a soul cause you don't want people to see.
Can't read you.
I don't like that.
I might make this private soon.
Oh and as for you mister,
I knew it was going to happen.
We're better off as friends if anything.
I.m. me already so I can say it.
I feel like you secretly are now going to listen to it but won't tell a soul cause you don't want people to see.
Can't read you.
I don't like that.
I might make this private soon.
Oh and as for you mister,
I knew it was going to happen.
We're better off as friends if anything.
I.m. me already so I can say it.
heart
the closer summer gets, the better it is.
I can finally breathe.
Yesterday was different though.
It was perfect, I felt great. Not all day though, just morning till afternoon. I think it was the half an hour spent at mt. mitchell. Swings and all, it was relaxing and calmed me down. First trip to Panera, overall good. Mean lady took my mango smoothie but whatever, the lady made me a better one.
Afterwards was in New York.. two words. Max Berner. Yummmm
I can finally breathe.
Yesterday was different though.
It was perfect, I felt great. Not all day though, just morning till afternoon. I think it was the half an hour spent at mt. mitchell. Swings and all, it was relaxing and calmed me down. First trip to Panera, overall good. Mean lady took my mango smoothie but whatever, the lady made me a better one.
Afterwards was in New York.. two words. Max Berner. Yummmm
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Maybe I should update this thing on whats been going on not like going out, got a cold, the usual stuff but more of old stuff reoccuring..
My heart has been weird lately. Not just that but its complicated. Like my palms start to get sweaty [ right now they're like waterfountins.. cute right? ] then all of a sudden I feel short of breath.. I mean I'm not unable to breathe it just feels that way then my heart starts to beat funny and I call my dad immediately. Not like he can do anything but I always call him. Its kinda funny though cause I refuse to let anyone else know whats going on, even if I'm with them. I just pull out my phone and start talking spanish when instead I'm feaking out on the phone. I want to know whats wrong. I want to know why I can't feel my tounge sometimes. Why do my lips go numb? I don't want to go to the doctor or hospital cause what if they say its all in my mind?
I'm hoping its just all the medicine I've been taking these past few days.
My heart has been weird lately. Not just that but its complicated. Like my palms start to get sweaty [ right now they're like waterfountins.. cute right? ] then all of a sudden I feel short of breath.. I mean I'm not unable to breathe it just feels that way then my heart starts to beat funny and I call my dad immediately. Not like he can do anything but I always call him. Its kinda funny though cause I refuse to let anyone else know whats going on, even if I'm with them. I just pull out my phone and start talking spanish when instead I'm feaking out on the phone. I want to know whats wrong. I want to know why I can't feel my tounge sometimes. Why do my lips go numb? I don't want to go to the doctor or hospital cause what if they say its all in my mind?
I'm hoping its just all the medicine I've been taking these past few days.
Monday, May 11, 2009
happy sick little girl
we should know by friday on when i get my tonsils taken out.
the doctors told my parents that after a week i should be good enough to go out and hang and be normal again. no alcohol or drugs though DUH. ya don't gotta worry about me doc haha.
my throat kills but im getting my sweet ol codine back in about half an hour. anti biotics also.
so thats the sick part.
I'm a happy little girl cause i was proven wrong. Your friends still like me and everything is gonna be normal and I'm really excited about that. Seriously, everyone is the same unless they do something to prove me wrong and boy, you did it.
See you on the 22nd.
Think in fragments
jfoisniofvnodsa
the doctors told my parents that after a week i should be good enough to go out and hang and be normal again. no alcohol or drugs though DUH. ya don't gotta worry about me doc haha.
my throat kills but im getting my sweet ol codine back in about half an hour. anti biotics also.
so thats the sick part.
I'm a happy little girl cause i was proven wrong. Your friends still like me and everything is gonna be normal and I'm really excited about that. Seriously, everyone is the same unless they do something to prove me wrong and boy, you did it.
See you on the 22nd.
Think in fragments
jfoisniofvnodsa
Sunday, May 10, 2009
One
thing.
It only really matters if I understand it I guess cause I don't really expect anyone else to read this cause I mean I'm just me. But secretly I wish some that I wrote about see it, I know they don't though. Its too " emo ". Bah. Your a piece of shit sometimes. Really, you are.
People don't like you.
Thats putting it nicely, its pretty bad.
You've burned so many bridges its a shocker you're not drowning somewhere.
You come home soon, who will be there?
I refuse to think that far into the future when it comes to you, we'll just see.
Maybe you'll catch me on a day I'm not doing anything.
It only really matters if I understand it I guess cause I don't really expect anyone else to read this cause I mean I'm just me. But secretly I wish some that I wrote about see it, I know they don't though. Its too " emo ". Bah. Your a piece of shit sometimes. Really, you are.
People don't like you.
Thats putting it nicely, its pretty bad.
You've burned so many bridges its a shocker you're not drowning somewhere.
You come home soon, who will be there?
I refuse to think that far into the future when it comes to you, we'll just see.
Maybe you'll catch me on a day I'm not doing anything.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I wish I had a tape recorder or just a notebook or something with me wherever I go, I want to hear what I've or others have said years from now.
Either going-to-graduate-highschool-by-the-time-shes-20 Stephanie or prissy-prude Lindsey keeps calling me and Brian. Usually they catch me when I'm in a good mood but twice they called at bad times. What the heck man, how long ago did we brake up? Two years right? Why do you still care? In fact, WHY AM I STILL BROUGHT UP IN PEOPLES DAILY CONVERSATIONS? Shit, I even found my name being dropped on peoples wall to wall today. Shitttt.
Sasquatch is next week. Breaks my heart
Either going-to-graduate-highschool-by-the-time-shes-20 Stephanie or prissy-prude Lindsey keeps calling me and Brian. Usually they catch me when I'm in a good mood but twice they called at bad times. What the heck man, how long ago did we brake up? Two years right? Why do you still care? In fact, WHY AM I STILL BROUGHT UP IN PEOPLES DAILY CONVERSATIONS? Shit, I even found my name being dropped on peoples wall to wall today. Shitttt.
Sasquatch is next week. Breaks my heart
Give it one more try
I can't stop watching Blink videos, its like remember the good old days and puts the biggest smile on my face. Mark Hoppus = Mah first ever man.
Hopefully they'll be in Jersey so everyone can go. Jon and I were talking about it last night and I'm glad, he said that his day was shitty until he saw my status with the blink song and that was the first thing that made him smile all day. I like that. I really do like hearing that I had something to do with brightening up someones day.
I'm thinking of giving someone another opportunity. Its like kinda a last sort of deal. Either things are completely different and I gotta see it from the get go or forget about me. I mean I may still go to the shows but don't expect me to even look in your direction. I'm totally fine with it, its not like I have anything invested at the moment. I don't plan on it either.
Stephen is coming over later and we're watching curb your enthusiam? I can't spell that. Whatever. I missed my best friends. And I missed Blink.
This summer is gonna be a good one.
Think in fragments.
I'll be your Josie.
Hopefully they'll be in Jersey so everyone can go. Jon and I were talking about it last night and I'm glad, he said that his day was shitty until he saw my status with the blink song and that was the first thing that made him smile all day. I like that. I really do like hearing that I had something to do with brightening up someones day.
I'm thinking of giving someone another opportunity. Its like kinda a last sort of deal. Either things are completely different and I gotta see it from the get go or forget about me. I mean I may still go to the shows but don't expect me to even look in your direction. I'm totally fine with it, its not like I have anything invested at the moment. I don't plan on it either.
Stephen is coming over later and we're watching curb your enthusiam? I can't spell that. Whatever. I missed my best friends. And I missed Blink.
This summer is gonna be a good one.
Think in fragments.
I'll be your Josie.
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Sickness
So I guess by now you can tell I get sick a whole lot.. I am again. Tonsils man, those things are my kryptonite. My biggest weakness, the one thing that will keep me stuck in bed. I can't wait to get them out later this month.
My computer has been acting up as well. Tomorrow my dad is taking it apart completely and cleaning it all out, thank you daddy for being a computer wiz.
Boys hate me now. I'm sorry, genuinely I am. I'm sorry for how I acted but I wouldnt change it because then things just wouldnt be fair for me.
I'm happy the semester is over, I miss my best friends, I miss the roadtrips, I miss the sleepovers and the fact that no matter what, we're always there for each other<3
Stephen came home earlier this week, Breona is done next week and Steven is home on Tuesday.
I miss being in soc. No, scratch that, I miss the people that were in it, the chill sesh after it, the walk to the car, the fact that Ryan always came in and created a scene, hanging out with Jon and all his friends, ugh. They'll never know though, I won't say a word.
My computer has been acting up as well. Tomorrow my dad is taking it apart completely and cleaning it all out, thank you daddy for being a computer wiz.
Boys hate me now. I'm sorry, genuinely I am. I'm sorry for how I acted but I wouldnt change it because then things just wouldnt be fair for me.
I'm happy the semester is over, I miss my best friends, I miss the roadtrips, I miss the sleepovers and the fact that no matter what, we're always there for each other<3
Stephen came home earlier this week, Breona is done next week and Steven is home on Tuesday.
I miss being in soc. No, scratch that, I miss the people that were in it, the chill sesh after it, the walk to the car, the fact that Ryan always came in and created a scene, hanging out with Jon and all his friends, ugh. They'll never know though, I won't say a word.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
we
have our last class today.
im nervous. kinda scared that after this we wont talk anymore and that would just bum me out a whole lot. but hey, so far you've surprised me a lot so we'll see. see you at eleven.
im nervous. kinda scared that after this we wont talk anymore and that would just bum me out a whole lot. but hey, so far you've surprised me a lot so we'll see. see you at eleven.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A loud hot cup of coffee
I can't stop hiccuping and I like taller boys.
Taller boys with cute faces.
Anyway Bamboozle was this past weekend.
Worth the money. Without a Doubt.
Best performances go to: New Found Glory, Fall Out Boy, LMFAO, Billy Talent, The Used, Sum 41.
Close Second: Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Rise Against, The Get Up Kids, Silverstein, Bayside.
Hypercrush messed up a few times, definitely did better at The Barbury in Philly.
A few others kept messing up or just couldn't hear much.
I lie when I say I'm happy we're just friends. Its whatever though, I refuse to let you see it. Tomorrow I'll smile and act like everything is fine when I secretly want to punch you in the face. Its weird though, as much as I hate it, I know that this is whats best. We're better off as friends. No arguments, hanging out every other day, still get to hang with the guys, its nice.
Someone else wants in the picture. I don't know yet though, our history was never the greatest. Maybe you'll get the benefit of the doubt. You know everything that happened and how I felt back then, let's see how you feel when I tell you about bud up there. ^^^
Taller boys with cute faces.
Anyway Bamboozle was this past weekend.
Worth the money. Without a Doubt.
Best performances go to: New Found Glory, Fall Out Boy, LMFAO, Billy Talent, The Used, Sum 41.
Close Second: Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Rise Against, The Get Up Kids, Silverstein, Bayside.
Hypercrush messed up a few times, definitely did better at The Barbury in Philly.
A few others kept messing up or just couldn't hear much.
I lie when I say I'm happy we're just friends. Its whatever though, I refuse to let you see it. Tomorrow I'll smile and act like everything is fine when I secretly want to punch you in the face. Its weird though, as much as I hate it, I know that this is whats best. We're better off as friends. No arguments, hanging out every other day, still get to hang with the guys, its nice.
Someone else wants in the picture. I don't know yet though, our history was never the greatest. Maybe you'll get the benefit of the doubt. You know everything that happened and how I felt back then, let's see how you feel when I tell you about bud up there. ^^^
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