Its three thirty four in the AM

And I'm up. Mostly because Jordan just wants to talk and I want to talk to him but also I've gotten to a point where I've developed a stomachache / headache so i cant go to sleep. Yesterday was my birthday, cant complain it went really well. I went to two shows [ Charades and The Appreciation Post ]. They did really well, I'm proud of both of them. Thats when Jordan and i started talking again. our first encounter wasn't anything really, it was just him promoting the band but this time since we went to see them, he couldn't really say anything.

I felt really uncomfortable there mostly because it was at a bar with older people and thats just not really my thing but we stayed to see them. Of course the guy wearing a speedo comes over and talks to us. It turned out that he was actually a good guy, pretty interesting, talking to us about Buddah and all that sort.

Recently, I just got back from hanging out with Josh, Jordan and Breona. She slept over but quickly went to bed. It was nice spending time with them, they are such chill and down to earth guys, Jordan and I are going to the city on Tuesday to run some errands. Hes such a great guy, hes like me in guy form. I dont know, it just is haha.


Alright the real reason I came to write.
There was a post secret card that in a way got to me. This is the link:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7y8W-i6-I1FS7gJ7GsXg8w007DfSl2Z3qfYVejl1r3WvWgRtYuw7f-XnAsJDPsZ-pMF-lzdsIVwWvbXTXdZAVTKuSlqmVBi3ujwJbw_QoSfMlTtu28a35CEENmbKCNPR03ovQmrSQoAA/s1600-h/grandpa.jpg
Well let me fill you in with the back story. I love both my grandmothers, they are superwoman to me. Esp the one that lives in America. Shes suffered so much, two strokes, cancer, you name it, either she has it or has had it. Also with suffered so much, shes also a widow. Both are. I went to one of my grandfathers graves two summers ago and it was just something so emotional. It was the first time I've gone to their graves and to stand there with my parents as they cried, it was something I've never experienced. We went to my fathers grave and he just couldn't take it. Someone from the family held him and i just bawled. To see my father in so much pain, I just didn't know how to take it. My mother was worse, no one in the family remembers where he was buried so we couldn't even visit him. All she ever wanted to do was put flowers and pay respects but thats not possible. I know both my grandmothers miss them. I miss them too and never even met them. I wish i knew where my grandfather on my moms side was buried.