I haven't decided yet on whether I'm going to quit J Crew yet or not.
Management is sloppy and that's being nice, they don't give anyone hours and I feel like an outcast.

A little piece of me wants to put some money in the stock market.

My dad finally said good job to me today.
First time in months.
Felt good.

Maybe things will change now?
I mean there isn't anything that can be held above my head, there isn't anything that he can disapprove of, there isn't anything that I'm not doing that I should be.

I spent 400 dollars today towards school, 3 pay checks.
I'm flat broke.. Maybe I have four bucks if anything.
It was such a great feeling though.

Fridays check goes towards Snowball.
After that is car insurance.

Feels so good.

Its not fair, is not fucking fair.

Why out of people I know who do insane amounts of bad shit do I get the strange shit happening to me.
Doctors tomorrow.

I want a full body scan, I really do. If there's anything else wrong, I want to know NOW. Not wait till I'm about to pass out while eating with my family. Or dizzy while at work or anything, now.

the only thing my god father and I agree on

" The more people I talk to, the more I realize how much I love my dog. "

Things have been weird at home with my parents recently.
Like they're been nicer.
But not like nicer as in them being cool, its more as them realizing that they don't let me have fun or even breathe so they're just trying to make up for it by ordering yummy food [ which I've barely been able to eat ], getting me more undies & socks [ that was great ] and just telling me where to go and they'll take me.

It doesn't matter. You can't buy me anything that will make me seriously happy.

Letting me go, leaving me alone, allowing me to have fun with my friends is what will make me happy.

You guys called me over 12 times today.
Three times when we were talking to Morgan.
Twice once I left the house.
Four times in the car coming home.
Twice just walking down the street.

Come on, just stop it.
You're the parents of a grown girl, now act like it.

Strangers " trying to get to know you " are really just creepy and lame.
We wont be friends, you don't impress me, just leave me be.
Plus I know you're lying when you say that I'm good friends with you friend, we're fucking not.

And thank you mom and dad.
we're not in the 70s in Colombia so stop acting like I'm going to get kidnapped or brought in a life of crime and violence if I go out late.
I don't fucking care if its not lady-like, you admitted that you would hang with your friends till 5am.
thanks for making me turn away Brian and Craig cause you know they're suchhhhh bad kids.
thanks for reminding me that I have no life besides work so why start it now.
thanks for making me feel like shit mom and dad, fucking wonderful

I love how no one invites me or tells me anything anymore cause they know I can't go and can't stay out.
I just love not being informed of anything anymore.

Cant fucking wait until I transfer, I just can't take it.

weird dreams.

listening to the same song at same time.
I swear its ment to be. now stop being a rockstar and be mine haha

whhhhhaaaat

boys are gross.
waking up next to your best friend with as boner = funny.

evan = cool.

I kind of am excited to see you guys break up, your band needs different songs.

This summer its gonna be one pieces for me.

There's a Diane von Furstenberg at Saks Fifth Ave goin for 154.
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=254800&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results
Also a Marc by Marc Jacobs for 129.
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=254800&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results

Weird. Awkward situation.


I don't know what to say little girl.
You caused fights between me and my ex and then with meg and him and now you tell people you liked me more then all the other girls?

Hunny, you're a freshman in high school.
Leave everyone alone.

Not cutting my hair, theres more to do when its longer and really who gives a shit.
No makeup, I don't wanna. If anything, I'll do mascara and liquid eyeliner.


The end.

evevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevevev.

mah

I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.

What I want.

Someone buy me a bike for my birthday please.
Pretty pretty please?

There is also a really really nice Michael Kors purse I want.
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7538355/c/195858.html
they sell it in the Michael Kors store in Garden State Plaza but in a smaller version. Its $368 but I would make such good use of it.

Sheryl Crow is also coming out with a clothing label called bootheel trading co and they have a vegan jacket that looks like a leather jacket and ah man, I need it.

Or better yet, take me somewhere.
Somewhere I havent been yet.
A nice town perhaps?

I love

How cooler your friends are then you.
And that they're coming Saturday.

Definitely dissapointed about Sunday though.
Fucking cool.


Anywayyyyy saw Nixon today, he works at Michael Kors in Garden State.
Funny.


Man I'm sorry we didnt seem unappreciative today. Seriously, I know it means alot to you guys and I won't do it again.
I know you're gonna make it.

its not fair

they had to put the cat to sleep.

I wish I had the power to heal.

I really hope the kitten lives.
I hope my ankle stops hurting soon, I'm getting my tonsils out soon, I don't want to have to schedule my ankle right after that, maybe a few years down the road but not now.


The kitten comes first though.

do it

www.myspace.com/yoursisterscanary
www.myspace.com/yoursisterscanary
www.myspace.com/yoursisterscanary
www.myspace.com/yoursisterscanary

evevevevev

I can't get this out of my head, thank you.

youtube

been on it for hours.

had a good thing going with the cure but then close to me came on and when the water was rising in the closet, i panicked.
stupid i know but im terrified of drowing, i can't stick my head under water. just cant. dont expect you can change it, no one can.

next was the smiths.
now the shins.
i want to see how far i can go with bands that start with " the ".
maybe the cars? maybe the mars volta?

whatever this is, its got me in a writing mood.
its been months since i've written anything, i tore up my old stuff.
why? not sure, just did it.

tonights are staying.

Its not why didnt I come earlier in your life, its why don't you realize that shes horrible for you?

Next week we'll get matching temporary tattoos and get some food.



I got the fire you're looking for.