imissyoumoreimissyoumoreimissyoumoreimissyoumoreimissyoumoreimissyoumore

a million times over.

now to start my rough draft

I was going to say that it cant be the weather that has me feeling this gross but it is.

the weather, the classes, christmas.
the only one im actually okay with are the classes.. well for now.
they seem to be pretty easy, its not like we have an eight page essay to do in a day, for eng its primarily 425 words with our research paper paper 1,000 words but i can do it.

i can't keep my thoughts straight.
nor can i keep a sentence on this thing without fixing it or deleting it.

spellcheck on this computer just doesnt exist.
seeing you today.
rachels tonight.

i think/speak in fragments.

#!@#!$$

one B- and the other three are Bs. So happy but now I have eng 122 AND spe 121. blah. the courses seem too good to be true already but who knows. as long as i have my first paper [ which is due at 9am ] tomorrow I'm good.

I think in fragments.

______

The boys from H & M followed me hah.
I continue to question boys. Or maybe its just I'm getting even pickier? Didn't think thats quite possible though but today proved me wrong. Usually I let cute boys slide when it comes to being a complete idiot but this time was just too hard. Even with those baby blues, the fact that he couldn't form a " structured " sentence just drove me nuts. Not to be rude, but I think the only way you got through school was by banging the professors.
A few hours later I found myself making excuses and just saying maybe you were tired? Maybe it was a long day?

Ugh those baby blues.

_______

Sometimes I like to write to people cause I get nervous in person, no matter how close they are.


I'm proud of the talk we had, I miss everything we used to be and am happy that we can start to be like that again. We have a slow yet steady pace but we can do it. We share the same brain sometime, we think alike, we cry at the same times [ which isn't a lot actually ], we have gone through more then any others out age and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Sleepover soon.

When I listen to Rooney, I think of you. When I really need something, you give it. Your leaving again soon and I'm scared cause this time your going to be farther and I don't want to lose touch. I'm giving you another going away present. I don't need anything this time, your dalmatian sits on my dashboard and keeps me safe.

We had our first heart to heart over the summer and I noticed we've grown so much and its odd because I saw myself heading into your direction, not with academics but with ahem but in fact, i steered clear from it and well you headed for it and lord knows what you do on the weekends. we didn't hang during the thanksgiving break but we both plan on seeing each other this winter. I want to do my best to take care of you, I do feel protective but only cause I see your potential and don't want you to ruin it like others we know have.


_______
I don't look forward to getting presents.
I don't look forward to be disappointed with creativity.
I don't look forward to the feeling that not the WHOLE family is there.

I just don't look forward to this holiday anymore.



I can't stop thinking in fragments.

i just dont know

recently I've been catching up with old friends and its weird, so much has changed but a lot still stays the same.

we think the same, still can finish sentences, still carry around the same things we gave each other as college going away presents

so I doubt my thoughts are even going to make sense, they're pretty unorganized but here I go..

I had a whole list of things that show how I have just been a weird friend.. well not weird but just not cool friend and I'm sorry. I must be retarded or something cause I really can't remember what are specific examples but next time I do, I'm writing them down and we'll have a talk about it.

i pretty much wanna say sorry for not being appreciative of a good friendship.
i may actually call you or something about it later if i can actually organize my brain.

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